This month has been a crazy one but we are making it thru some better than others.
Many of you know that I am an open book. If I am having a GOOD day or a BAD day you will all know...am I right Nate, I don't hide it very well. Is that good thing or a bad one I'm not sure.
Anyways as we move forward to the next month we are looking forward to moving out of our home and into a basement apartment. It kind of sounds bad coming from a 4,000 square foot home with 7 bedrooms 3 bathrooms 1 1/2 kitchens and 3 living rooms and a half an acre lot...but its not so we are excited to be making some changes. We get to downsize (get rid of stuff) save money, for a new home, fix our credit but the best part is we get to be close as a family and have the experience to save together and serve on another.
I wanted to write down some of my thoughts about this yesterday.
What a day I have had...been sitting here in self pitty and "what if's" and "I don't want this to be happening." While I am doing this I have realized I don't like it when my children do this so why am I doing it to Greg...LAME! I am so thankful for his patience with me in giving me this time to discover for myself how I want to be in the circumstance and not getting upset at me. In the meantime he was finding every possible way to lift my burdens & take my stress away. It's not like he as any stress of his own...finding a place to live and running a company trying to make everyone happy all at the same time. I wish I could be half as strong as him. He is such an amazing example to me.
Before writing this down I had the strong impression of what it has meant for me in having Beckam come to our family and what it can bring to me as a mother. Each child has given ME something. My 1st child a NEW look on life and complete LOVE. The 2nd PATIENCE for they were 16 months apart and best buddies. The 3rd brought PEACE the 4th HARMONY and the the 5th RELAX and have FUN!
Having Beckam and taking care of him as meant me not being in control of how everything runs in this home and to let things go has been huge for me.
If I can take all of these attributes (or whatever you call them) and use them, I will enjoy the life that was set for me as a mother. I can't wait to see what's in store for me and comes out of this new found knowledge.
My best buddies and wonderful examples to me for I who I have become and will become. I love them so much!
4 comments:
You are wonderful!
OH Jess! I Totally know how you feel! I don't know if you have been following our family blog, but we decided to do something pretty similar this last May.
After Dawson died our house felt too big and empty. That mixed with the feeling of wanting to spend way more time as a family we did the unthinkable.....
We bought a 32' pull behind trailer, moved out of our 3,500 sq ft. beautiful home and into the trailer! NUTS! That is what everyone thought. Even I did from time to time before the move.
It is easily the best thing we have ever done for our family! We sold almost everything and gave away almost everything else. We have stopped spending so much time maintaining stuff and spend almost all of it maintaining US. It is more simple. Jake, who was the most apprehensive about the whole thing, has told us this is the best choice our family has ever made. I couldn't agree more! We need SO much less than we think! There is so much in life that is a distraction. It drains our time, energy and wallets.
My friends little boy (they did something similar) said to his mom, "I would rather have a small house and a big life than a big house and a small life." AMEN TO THAT!
You will love it Jess. It is hard, but I promise at some point you will look back and say that it was the best choice you have ever made!
Keep us posted!
LOVES!
I love all the things you've learned from each kid. Very beautiful.
I heard about your having to move through the grapevine.... Let me know if we can help with anything. Seriously! We are here for you, but we can't read minds!! :)
I lOVED this post! What a great person you are! I hope that I was any help to you at all. The best thing we have gotten out of our decision to downsize was paying off $20,000 in debt and we had a fantastic summer! and we LOVE each other.
I love how you described motherhood.
your the best.
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